stinx_23's Xanga

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 09:39:23 GMT

its been a year.. i'm back.. the emotional jerk man back again.. i'm just getting emotional. coz i really turned into crying lad when i talked to my friend on the phone.. shit it's much better if i do'nt call him. i trully hate myself... too crazy.my shit friend really learn a goddamned thing.. they are all the same.. renz, jolas crouse.. o shit i'm a back fighter.. i love to tell shit things on them at the back.. i cant cease my feeling sorry.. i'm really dorry.. they are all the same... he said he values his friends... his barkada... renz belong there... i know renz also value them.. what an unjust world... they never learn... now i think they will be more successful than me... i dont like... i want them to suffer... so that they will feel what i felt... sorry i'm getting selfish help me God... plss help me...plsss... help... i reallly wish it will not be happen again!!

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 07:41:23 GMT

I dont know what to do first! Yesterday was quite tiring! That's the negative side of being an officer!!! I dont know if they want to revenge! i smell something! ..thats hatred! Maybe because of their pride! they dont know how to respect! in return people hate them! What you have now will not last! i dont know why they forgot to think that this things might happen i saw alot of crazy things yesterday! i dont know why they do that! I cant feel genuine love! its all fake! my last year was crazy! Some lied! i discovered things that makes me feel wild! My past was so ghastly!!

I saw the different changes happening which i really hate! I dont know how to manage my time.. I have no time with some of my friends! I know its really ok with them but for me thats so Unjust! Some of them shot me with a gun! The bullets socked my heart! I dont know if its their pleasure to view a friend who getting hurt! I saw my mother cutting papers! that so strange! My father got mad with my mother! financial problem again!! i dont know my father is so crazy! They dont know how to understand! He got crazy with his vice! he admit he is the reason why my mother crying! i dont know the real story coz im at school that time.. my aunt is the one who told me about that matter! but now they wEre both ok!

WoW!! our examination was too hard! especially the mathematics! i dont know! after the test my head was aching... Something trapped in myhead! and it was so eager to escape!

IM too busy!! because its our examination! three consecutive days of examinations??? that so sh***t!! I have an entrance Examination on sunday! i need to pass that exam! I want to study in thats school! if ever i fail! its much better if i will stop my studies! Thats the way i should express my frustration...

Ok I’m here again! So excited to write what I want! What I feel! Useless things! I’m not sure if I will pass the examination! A preparation to college life! I found the test not that hard but some speaks it was too easy! Effortless that’s how they react in the examination! I’m hysterical today! Worrying not to pass the test! But I’m will continue believing! Believing for nothing???? Crazy…. believing to find a good result

Sometimes your mind was too haggard… you realized something that’s make you feel embarrass!!!!! My mind wants some rest! My eyes getting blurred because of stress…. Now I have no time to compose a new song! an excellent song! which will make people think! But that’s too impossible… People are tired to realize their mistakes…. They shut their bewildered eyes and they forgot how to open it! Now they are blind! Can’t see the truth… the love and the changes! they don’t know how too feel! They became defective…

GOODBYE CYRUS

My cat died! a devil killed him! Now just wait for his revenge! he will appear in devils dream!

I dont know what to write first as usual.... My life is so dull today! we have no electricity! im sleeping now for two days without light and the presence of cold air!! the typhoon was so angry! i saw the trees dancing! and cant follow their steps!! the philippines suffering from the dark! we have no classes but i cant do such thing that will make me alive! no television no computer no light i thought im in the province! thank god there is water! crazy! i just remember i went back home last wednesday soaking wet! that day was so cool! no classes we just had a meeting with a man! we discussed about sex! the conversation was too open! i want to change the topic! our fieldtrip is near! i dont know who will be my companion that time! i will just remember something! I dont know what i feel right now... im talking with my new friends they are okey! sometimes i want to go away! walking alone wandering that they are there! Im demanding! im expecting too much with my friends! i want to adjust! to change! my bestfriend is myself! you know why??? Hes my ally because we have the same attitude! the same likes! and feelings! compared with them! i dont know if they value me! i want to die! i want to view them crying! tears not last! they will realize they are crying for nothing! for a uselesss friend! im not worthy for their tears...! thats my weakness! to know that i'm just a waste!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 09:20:56 GMT

I'm living with a happy life now! And i dont let anyone Obliterate It

I dont know whats going on! I got pissed with my friend! Where not that close! i just remember i post her in my xanga! I just said something! i spoke that she changed! she replied defiantly that if i have some proof that she change! i hate the tone of her voice and her face when she said that! Maybe she just mad that time but its not reasonable! thats only my opinion! I thought she will realize if i will say that! but im very disappointed! i snobbed her when i saw her! i didnt do that in purpose! i dont know why i did that! mabye it is only a part of misunderstanding! I try to understand but i cant! i know if i am the one who committed mistake! i dont want to think that things! Im tired to think stuffs about friendship! i got used to it!

I’m an excellent ill fated person today! Happiness suddenly deprived!!! Since I went to school today! I encountered different things that will make me frantic!!! First I got a low grades in some of the quizzes we had! Second my bag zipper was wrecked! So I spent my break time in fixing that stuffs! Third I don’t understand some lessons! I can’t take down some notes! Because my notebook is not yet return and I don’t know if it is already lost!! Fourth I’m tired to listen and to participate in discussion! I’m becoming idle now! And the Last… the worst!! The most awful! The most unfortunate one! When my teacher saw us cheating! Yes cheating!! I didn’t cheat or do some naughty things! Crazy… I don’t know how I will defend myself!! She put me on the spot! My image has been ruined.. I hate that… its quite unfair for my part and for the others who also accused.. I saw some of my classmates cheated! but they are lucky enough!!! I felt embarrass! It’s too unjust to humiliate us in front of everybody! I really hate that kind of circumstances! I hate to be blame! Because I’m not living here in this dreadful earth to humiliate people! Thats too nutty

Tomorrow??? I don’t know what will happen tomorrow! Our report card will be release!! I’m too unfortunate today and I don’t know if it will continue until tomorrow…. I’m worried! I’m anxious about my grades!!! I’m afraid!! You know that??? It’s hard to accept failures!! I will make me feel down! I will just pray! I do my best but I’m frightened that they didn’t see it! Or appreciate it! My mind now is rolling and I really don’t know how will its stop!

Im very grateful for everything! im glad and contented in my grades! its really unexpected! I think thats the power of prayer and patience! now i learned the virtue of piety! My goal now is to maintain my grades and make it higher! i need to improve!

Im the most outstanding unlucky person in the whole world today! I met alot of failures! I try to think positive but its not easy! I dont want to happen that anymore! now i will assure that i will be cautious enough to be free from evils

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Sun, 27 Aug 2006 05:04:26 GMT

i decided what course i will take in colloge! i will not forget music i still value music! music is my life! i cant live without it!

i feel genuine love with my new friends! so im satisfied! now! im too grateful about that!

We have no classes today! i spent my time writing songs! i just rejected some of my songs! i hate that! but i should! the tune was quite bad! but i composed two songs today! which is much better! ! Monday was too dull! so i have no idea what to do! ! crazy things! i felt bad about that!! the heat of the sun, i feel it!! i will take my examination in ust in september! i should past that exam!

THE SONG I COMPOSED

1. Its killing mE 2.You Are The One 3.Punkd me 4.Song for mY friends

5.Save yoUr eYes from Tears 6.143(i haTe you) 7. hAppinEss 8.My Last Love Song 9.My AchiLLes HeEl

10. a BrokEn PromiSe of a Friend! 11.UnfortunAte Life

Waa! i just bothered my cellphone was on my father! he borrowed it! he didnt know one part of my cellphone lost! i just remember he got mad with me when the time i lost that! now it lost again! i hate that kind of situation! i'm really unfortunate person! i always lost something! i think thats my destiny!

I hate myself! I don’t like my ego! I value the people around me! which is an idiocy! Im quite sensitive about their feelings! Because I don’t want to wound a heart!! Stupidity! In return! They hurt me! They stabbed my heart!... They are pitiless, unsympathetic, heartless and conceited! I hate that! I don’t know sometimes I want to imitate them! So that it’s fair! They hurt me always in return I will hurt them also! Over generous, too kind, caring and good people have no place in the heart of everybody! In this crazy world they just rejected! Crazy things!

I’m quite disappointed! I thought I found a friend! a good friend! they are the same! They are both crazy! You know why???? They are so numb! They don’t know how to use their eyes! They are blind! They don’t know how to feel! I hate them!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m tired too value a friend! too sad! but I still value my old friends! About my new friends???! Yes I will also value them!!! IN THEIR DREAMS!! (laughing)

Monday! was really really bad! Im unfortunate today! I don’t know! I have done foolish things!

Being not aware of what happening around you then something weird happen it makes you crazy! i hate our organization now! i hate some of the officers! the commandant !! he is a superb crazy person! I really hate them! i regret now that i joined that organization! a crazy organization! its unjust! unfair! and useless! there's no unity! theres no friendship! i think this is the last batch! its really boring! because there is no cocc next year! our training is useless! now i regret! i hurt, i cried i suffered alot! i sacrificed!!!! i have been rebuffed! i have been refused! i have been rejected! its worthless!

I read some of my previous entry in xanga! I just realized that I look so crazy! Now I cant do anything! To regret was too late! Its my past! A heartbreaking past with my insensate friends! Now laughing is the only thing I can do! To laugh on my past!!!!! They dumped me in a world with full of sorrow, That sometimes my eyes bled! Because there’s no more tears…. !!! Now I can smile again! You should not adjust because people will accept you as yourself!!! That’s the pleasure if you feel genuine love with your new friends!! Now I believed in HAPPY ENDING! Welcome to my life my crazy friends!!!!

I’m quite happy today! Finally our position announced! Position of the qualified officerS!!!! The result was great! I’m contented of my rank! I felt excellent gladness when I knew that some bigheaded officers got a lower position! When you are there you will feel uneasy! It’s really nervous!!! Because you will call one by one starting in lower position! I’m glad!!! I’m glad! That’s only thing I can say! I think it is the exchange of my unfortunate days!

I watched house of wax! it was a great movie although its too disgusting! i hate this day i'm tired!!!!! Cleaning the sorrounding is a foolish thing! i dont know i hate my father he is overacting! he always mad! simple things make him crazy!!!!

Mty dad and i dont approach each other! i dont know... its too crazy! when i went back home! i went to the room and i opened the door quickly! suddenly his foot hit by the door! he got mad! and thats all that simple thing makes him paranoid!!!!! im reall y nrvous with the out come of my report card! i dont like to have low grades! if it will happen!! i preety sure!! i will be frustrated! deperate too excel again and my head will explode due to pain!!!... One thing which i really hate they have a right now to call me stupid!!!

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Sun, 30 Jul 2006 03:34:28 GMT

These past days I’m tired because of practice in the cheering competition. I always went home at night. Three consecutive days the class was suspended because of typhoon. I didn’t rest that days, I should attend the practice although there was heavy rain and floods! There was a misunderstanding happened in our practice! Some of the group members is quarrelling. All of us were bothered that time! Suddenly some decided to quit! One of the problem is we are incomplete! I pity my friend that time because he admit that its all his fault but not! the mother of my classmate got angry with him, She kept on saying hurt things! I want to shout at her that time! I want to express my side to defend my friend but I should control it. Mad Mad Mad!

Finally the competition began! I felt nervous that time! Especially when I saw some sections performance! It’s awesome! Their costume is great! I didn’t expect that we will win! It is enough that we will perform it well! Were the last participant! I didn’t felt nervous or shame that time! I will do my best! Were incomplete! But its ok we didn’t back out! I didn’t felt frustrated when I knew that we didn’t grab any place!. I’m satisfied in our performance because some appreciate it! I congratulate some of my friends because they won! I’m happy that I saw all sections performed! Our adviser gave us money to eat food! To celebrate?? I don’t know! But I’m happy for that! Ok I’m done

Friday is bad! I knew who are qualified as an officer! One of my friend cried because she didn’t saw her name in the list! I didn’t saw the list but some said I’m qualified! But I’m not happy in the result! Some are not deserving! It is really unfair! Some are not deserving in their positions right now! I comforted my friend! I felt pissed of what happening in ACP! There is no justice!, unreasonable, wrong, Its really unfair. I want to punch, I want to crush his face, I want to kill him to stab him! He is crazy!

I for got to post in my xanga! My friend ( the one who said I’m useless) greeted me in my birthday! Were okey now! My other friend also greeted me even though it was late! He forgot it! Hehehe!

My Wednesday is fine! One of my friend got mad withME! I Think Its my fault but not all! She is quite sensitive she always got pissed everytime she saw me with my other friends! Shes too possesive. But i cant do anything! that is her attitude! I want to talk with her and everytime i greet hEr, She snobbed me! I saw something on her eyes! Anger Everything! By the way i will change the topic! i hate one of my teacher! shes insane! im afraid everytime she is teaching! she's not a good teacher! she like to embarrass! but i think that the way she teach! crazy crazy! she took drugs! i think! Kill her kill her!

My Friday is great. We played DOTA(computer game) with my friend. We dismissEd early so i have time to play! Im very busy this week! I always sleeP at 1:00 in the morning! Because of the different requireMents needed in the school! I dont know! i dont love to be tired! I hate school! but i should value it! for the sake of my future and to achieve my desires! i dont want to disappoint my parents Too! Especially my father. He works hard for us! Studies studies! is quite torture for us! What the hell! DEMOLISH IT! kidding

BOREDOM! BOREDOM! XANGA IS QUITE BORING RIGHT NOW! I FELT PISSED! I CANT FEEL I AM QUALIFIED OFFICER! THE COCC REMOVED! OUR TRAINING IS USELESS! I JUST REMEMBER EVERTHING HAPPENS IN SUMMER TRAINING! I SUFFERED! I FELT MAD I CRIED BUT ITS WORTHLESS! I CANT FEEL IT I CANT APPRECIATE EVERTHING MAYBE IM NUMB NOW!! OUR EXAMINATION FINISHED! IM BOTHERED OF MY SCORE IN TRIGO!

YESTERDAY waS GREAT! ITS REALLY FUN THERE WAS A PROGRAM HELD IN OUR SCHOOL! SOME TEACHERS PERFOM SHOWING THEIR STUPID TALENTS! HAHAHAHA! I KEEP ON LAUGHING THAT NIGHT! BECAUSE MY FRIENDS ALWAYS TEASE THE TEACHERS WHEN THEY PERFORM! ONE TEACHER SUDDENLY HER FALSE TEETH FELL IN THE MIDDLE OF HER PERFORMANCE! I DONT SEE IT BUT SOME SAYS... IT IS REALLY EMBARASSING! SHE WAS MY LAST YEAR ADVISER! CRAZY RIGHT??? FURY! I FELT THAT BEFORE THE SHOW! I FELT PISSED! I DONT WANT TO POST THAT THINGS! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT SOMEONE READING MY XANGA! THERES STRANGERS! WHO KNOWS ABOUT THIS! I DONT WANT TO INFORM THAT STRANGERS OF WHAT IS HAPPENING! THERES NO PRIVACY! OHH! I HAVE A PLAN TO HAVE MY NEW SITE!

Ei friday is great! finally i felt that im an officer! yes finally! yesterday is quite tiring! our task is to welcome all the visitors! foolish thing! but its fun! i dont know what's i felt yesterday! one of my friend was cold with me! hes crazy! i regret now that i met a crazy, bigheaded and numb friends! he loves to forgot! i hate that! but i dont want to waste my time! with that kind of person! by the way we held a program! for the unfortunate children! waaa! poor children! they are too naughty! but it was fun! i realized that! waa nothing! nothing i have no time to realize things! grrrr LOL! ok thats all! i forgot im with my friend now! and he was crazily inlove with someone! hhahahaha! now he was busy writing a testimonial! with his crush!

Monday, July 03, 2006

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 11:02:01 GMT

Tuesday finally classes started. I don't like the first day of classes. My new adviser is boring. She have luck of humor. She is my teacher in english. I have not yet met my other teachers. I don't like some of my new classmates. By the way that is my first expression to them. I hope this year is fun. I try to be good in different subjects. I dont want to talk to my new classmates. I just talked to my old classmates.I saw my ex-friend (the one who said i betray him and said I'm useless), i found out he is not my classmate. Its ok i admit i don't him to be my classmate again. For what he have done. He hurt my feelings.ok thats all! I hope tommorow will be fun. I hope!

Wednesday is bad. I really don't like my new adviser. It's so hot inside the room. Our room is in the biology laboratory. Our room is not yet done. It's still under constraction. I always saw my ex-friend with his new friends. I get mad everytime i saw his face and i heard his name. I want to punch him. I feel his shy everytime he saw me and I dont care.! What he have done and said to me, he should be shy.

Thursday is slight fun! hehehe! my father ang my sister came back from the province.! I voted as the auditor of our section! Wow Its my first time to be an officer. I nominated as a president and vice! because my crazy classmate voted me! I'm so happy i didnt win.Its fun! I enjoy the games!. Thank god some of my classmates is humorous. If its not i really dont like the section. Our new adviser is really boring. I keep on laughing that time. Ok thats all!!

Saturday is fun i played badminton! with my friends! Its fun! We played for one hour! after that we ate at KFC. We also went to computer shop! we played DOTA! for two hours! I went back home tired so i just sleep!

Sunday is fathers day! we went to the church! I, my sister and my dad! We brought some foods! hehehe! thats all!

Thursday is ok! i miss my xanga! im quite busy thats why i have no time to visit it! School is fine! I got closed with some of my classmates! I want to revenge!! HAHAHA! just kidding but sometimes when my day is bad!! i want to do that! hehehe! im talking to my friend but its ok now! i just use what happened as an inspiration! hahaha! thats all!

ThE song I cOmposeD

1. ItS killing mE 2.You Are the 1 3.PunK'd mE 4.Song 4 mY frIend

5.WorLd of FriendshiP 6. Save your eYes frOm tEars 7. 143 (i Hate u) 8 HapPineSS

9. The Return of the Traitor (not yet done) 9. My last Love SonG

Monday is fun! Ohh I miss writing in my xanga! i just visited it and signed out! I have no enough time! by the way my friday is bad! i have a fever! Im at school that time i went to the clinic! i went back home. My father is the one who went to the clinic to fetch me! I didnt take the quiz in Filipino! i didnt attend the ACP and the club! I thought that day is the announcement of students who will qualify as an officer! i called my friend in the phone im in the house that time! resting... My friend said they still dont know who are qualify it is not yet announce! I dont know I felt a little nervous but its ok! Saturday i still suffered from fever but I'm slight ok that day! If I have no fever we will watch Superman! damn I had a fever! but my father said that we will watch next friday! i hope! Ei we have a new room! its done already! We evacuated from the biology laboratory finally! our new room is much better it has 5 electric fan! so its not hot!

Saturday is fun my father, I and my sisters went to sm megamall! We went there to watch superman! THe movie is really great! The effect is nice! I dont like the screen it is quite small compared to other cinemas! But its ok! By the way last friday we had an ACP meeting! The announcement of the students who will qualify as an officer is suspended again! i dont know if I'm excited! or nervous! I loose faith! that i will be qualify! There are some which is not deserving! I felt mad! But I should accept that!Life is really unfair! Ok i'm done

Xanga is now boring! I neeed COMMENTS!

This past days is really great! the classes was suspended! because of storm! This saturday the rain stoped! I just spend my time resting, listening to musics and trying to compose a song again! The birthday of my sister is near! and also my birthday im turning to 16! HAHAHA! Ei our test is near so I need to review my lessons! I really hate test! but its a part of being student! DAMN. My new classmates is fun but some are boastful! Its ok I dont want to waste my time for that kind of people! Im happy now! I learned how to forgive! and i knew how to be happy! I should forgive the people who hurt me! ok thats all

I MY

Sunday is fine! Tommorow is my sister's birthday. Im busy reviewing my lessons! Wow i'm a good boy There is something wrong with me? Mabe i'm sick! Just kidding!

Monday is fine! We took a test! Physics is really hard! Now i want to rest and review again! Tommorow we have another test! Ok thats all!

July 23, 2006

Today is my birthday! yesterday is bad! we have a cheering copetition! on thursday so we need to practice were late! compared to other sections! There was a fight between my two classmates! that is one of the reason why we cannot make some steps! we have a plan but its useless because there something happened! which is the reason why some quited! I felt mad that time! really mad! I try to convince them not to quit! but they dont like! i felt glad when they said that they change their mind! They said they will never quit that's there birthday gift to me! thank god!

When i wakeup in the mornin' i felt sad! because its raining! i went to church with my sister!we have a practice that time! i just prayed that i hope that I will celebrate my birthaday with my friends! i thought it was my saddest birthday because they are quite busy that time because they have also practice! but i get touched because they came to my birthday although its raining! Thank God I celebrated my birthday with them! I think thats one of my greatest! and memorable event in my life! happy birthday to me!

Hahaha! im very happy

Mon, 29 May 2006 08:00:53 GMT

Sunday is great! we went to church! This day is exciting.. There are two reasons why im happy! First, My father will go back home! Later we will fetch him at the airport! Lol! hehehe.. Second, because i knew that the classes will be start on june 13, i thought it was on june 5 hahaha! so i have two weeks left to enjoy the vacation! ok thats all!

Monday! is cute! it is the first day of my father here! hehehe! he bought some chocolates but it is few! hehehe! today i try to compose a song! it is not finished the chorus is not yet done! the title of the song is punk'd me! i dedicate it to the people who is selfish, insensitive! and love to insult others! hahaha! so i just tell you if it is already finish! ok im done!

Tuesday is great! we went to the office of my father, me and my sister! After that we went to the robinson manila! together with my father's chums! We ate in a food court! The restaurant is "eat all you can" hahaha! there are different kind of foods! hahaha! you can eat all of that! if you are crazy hehehehe I ate 2 plates of food! hahah!a im so hungry! My stomach is full! I cant take it! i want to vomit! joke! after we eat we went back to the office! and after that we went to sm manila to fetch my sister! We met her, and we went to the 3rd floor to buy shoes! my sister didnt find the shoes that she like!s she said that she saw also the shoes in the Isetan mall! so we went there! after how many hours finally she found it! after we brought the shoes! i told my father to buy me shades! so we went to the store! we spent alot of time there! laughing because we cant find a nice shade! finally a found one! but i dont like that! we felt that the woman got mad! so i just buy that! although i dont like the shades! hehehe after that we went back home! it is already 6:30 pm! if i just remember! my father and us have a plan to watch movie on thursday! i hope so... hehehe ok im done

Wednesday is a memorable one! My father and I went to my cousin’s house! I thought we were sleep there… It is already 11:30 pm me, my cousins and their cousins watching movie… First we watched Slither but we decided to change it! We just watched Scary movie 4. The movie is fun! Hahaha! My father came he said that we were go home! I cannot contradict his decision.. He drunk that night! It’s already quarter to 12 o clock! We stay in the highway for a long time! Because he drunk! He just talking about a lot of things but I knew that he knows what he was talking about! He said that I should not be afraid like him. We just rode in the taxi! Inside the taxi he keeps on talking! He was kidding me. We went back home and the gate is locked! I knocked many times but nobody open the gate! We just go to our neighborhood to call them! My father and I ate first before going to sleep. All of them is not yet sleeping. My father and my aunt talked about “debts” My father is in my back. I’m ready to sleep that time. My father called my sister who is doing her homework. He hugged my sister and he cried. A lot of words came out in his mouth! He said to my sister that do not disappoint him. He said that he love us and he begged to give him strength. He claimed that although we have a lot of debts at least we are studying. He also said that he will do his best even though he is tired just for us. I really get touch of what he said. I cannot control myself to cry but they didn’t know. My sister tried to comfort my father. My sister and my mother heard that so they went inside the room. My sister is also crying. My father is my back he hugged me and I heard he was crying. That night is so weird. I cherish that night so I have an inspiration to study well and to do my best not just for my father but to the whole family.

Sunday is fun we went to our cousins house. There was alot of food there. Its the birthday of my cousin and also the blessing of their new house. Its fun i met my relatives.I saw my cousins which is bigger now. We stayed there till evening. If i just remember we went back home at 7:30.

Tuesday is boring... again??? hehehe My father and my sister will go to the province. Im sad because my father don't allow me to go there. My classes is on tuesday. My sister has no classes because she is graduated. She's busy finding job. They will stay there for a week if i will go there i will be absent. I dont like to be absent on the first day of classes. I miss our province. It's almost 8 years since i went there. I miss the lake, our house there which is made up of wood hehehe, my cousins and all my relatives there. ok! hehehe ei finally finished the song i'm busy now writing my fourth song. I have a tune and lyrics but it is not yet done. There is no title yet and its is slow. Ok thats all.

Thursday is still boring. I'm here in the computer shop. We have no internet card in the house. I'm searching for chords. By the way the 4th song is already finished. The title is S4MF (song for my friends).. Hehehe the lyrics is great. It is all about saying goodbye to your friends. My father and my sister will go to province tommorow. My father said they will stay there for 3 days only. I hope so.. I want to write another song. The first stanza is done and the chorus but im not satisfied hehehe i want to improve that. The title is "The Return of the Traitor". I hope that i finish that song. Ok im done.

Friday is fine! Today my father and my sister will go to the province. I'm in the c omputer shop near in our school because i will buy my books. Classes is near, 3 days left. My father borrowed the cell of my uncle which i'm using. I have no cellphone right now but it's ok. That's all! i just want to visit my xanga

Sunday i went to church. My father and my sister is in the province now. two days left the vacation is finally over. I don't know is i am excited or not. It is so boring inside the house so i want that the vacation is over, i want to go to school but sometimes i don't want. hehehe. Ok im done. I don't know, no one comment me on xanga now. i think all of them have no time to vist their xanga.

Monday is slight boring. Ahhmm tommorow is the start of classes. Im slight excited. I'm ready to face my new classmates. I hope they are friendly. So later i will fix my things ok that's all.

Ei! XaNga is REaLLy GrEaT

Sun, 14 May 2006 06:41:47 GMT

I hate saturday! I hate the people inside the house! They are always debating, fighting and arguing about different stuffs! Especially my aunt and my foolish uncle!. It is really annoying! Both of them are crazy! There is always a conflict between them! My aunt said im an animal and im bad! She spoke that i have been influenced by my uncle! According to her I saw my uncle bad treats and I immitate him!I dont know! I just want to speak up for myself! thats it! but they always claimed that it is a mistake. They always saw my mistakes and make it right but they dont know how to correct their own mistakes! Im stupid! careless and bad and i admit that! and i dont know! it is really difference how i treat them compared to my classmates and friends!.. Thats the way they raised me up! My aunt is over acting, she is always mad! she is tactless!Im not vocal inside the house about my problems! I just tell it to my friends! Im not comfortable to tell different stuffs to them! Im expressive in the house in terms of my feeling! they know when im mad or sad! I just stamp my feet, and close the door over causing a loud sounds! Hehehe and my aunt and my mother get mad with me! because according to them it is bad! and im agree with that! I JUST DO that because im mad and also to express my feelings! I dont know sometimes they are ok but there are times that they are cold! we have different likes. Sometimes they oppose what i like! especially when im playing music! They want to turn it off! I always get mad! with that! ok im done

Sunday is mothers day! i went to church with my sisters! my mom is not with us! When we went back home! I kissed my mother and greet her a happy mothers day! My sisters also did that! We have no gift to my mother! but i think she understand that we have no money to buy her some gifts!

Wednesday ahhhmm ! hehehe today?? im fine! the day is so fast! Im worry that when i wake up it is already schools! I dont want to go to school yet! I want to enjoy my vacation! it is so boring! I need to do something! grrr!!

Friday is ahmm! I dont know what to say! hehehe! my friday is just an ordinary day!. I just spent my time in txting! Yes! it is really good! Im addicted to it!! especially when you are unlimited! hahaha I just borrowed the cellphone of my uncle! Compare to my cellphone that lost!! my cellphone is much better! but it is ok! hahaha! i have no right to complain! i just borrowing hehehe! I dont know the time is so fast! hahaha! My father will go home now! haha it is near! im not excited! hahaha!.. It is better if he will come back home with a pack of money! but the sad is he will come back with the pack of debts hahaha just kidding!!

I hate sunday! it boring agin! i hate my sister! she put the internet chord somwhere! It is difficult to find it! my aunt knew where it is! but she is so selfish!.. i just go to computer shop! hahaha thank god my uncle gave me some money! My uncle is really good now! Finally he has a job! his being frustrated seaman is over hehehe!

Ei! Monday is worst! My friend got mad with me! I don’t know what is the reason! I texted him a quote and he replied that he is not shy because im not a true friend! He said that I betrayed him! He said his ex-girlfriend say something in him! I Don’t know what is that thing!. I got curious so I talked to his ex-girlfriend! Who’s also my friend about this matter!. She told me that she just said to her ex-boyfriend that she got mad when I and him talked on the phone!.. If it is true! I think that he just thought that I say something to her ex-girlfriend! Yes I admit that I say something but it is not my intention to betray him! I just want to comfort his ex girlfriend that time! I didn’t say a word that will offend him! What I’ve done is not a mistake! If I am in his position! I don’t tell that things! I just ask a conversation!.. I just shocked! Of what he said! I told him that he is so over acting! He opposed what I said! He exclaimed that I’m the one who is over acting! I immediately get mad with them always! I told him that I value them that’s the reason why I always over act of what they are doing!, because it is really hurts. They always hurt me especially when the time they left me. I’m always alone! And its killing me. I pity myself and I felt so pathetic that time but I never get mad with them!!! What happening right now?? In just a simple thing he claimed that I’m not a good friend! That I betrayed him! What the heck he is! If I’m not a good friend! What they think they are!. He also said that I did not understand him! If I’m not understand them I will quit our circle of friends immediately. God knows how I love them! I just hope that he will realize what he have done is really hurt! He just want to express his anger without thinking the feelings of other! Like what he have done.

Thursday is good! I feel much better now! LOL! I composed 2 songs hehehe! i just want to express my feelings, my anger, my sadness hehehe Lol! the first song i compose is really good! the song is sad hehehe the title is "Its killing me" They are few lines there which i dedicate to my friends! There are lines there saying " they treat me like a dirt the just pick me when they are in need and after they used they throw me somewhere! hehehe like what bili's said to me hehehe she is my friend in xanga! I just realize that were not friends were just click! hehehe! They like a stones! They are so unfeeling! they are so numb! When i punch them im the one who will hurts while them they didnt feel it! They really like a stone! they have no heart! Hehehe the second song is titled "You are the one" i dont know why i wrote that song! The tune just stuck in my mind! so i put some lyrics! hehehe

I just want to thank all my friends here in xanga! Bili you are really great thanks for the advice! Even though we don know each other alot.. You understand! Thanks also to Mariz Pineda you are a good friend! You rock girl! I appreciate what you are doing! you are awesome friend! i hope our friendship will last!

Friday is ok! sometimes i felt so mad! i just remember what my friend said! I thought he considered her ex girlfriend as an enemy! Because he got mad easily. He didnt think that i just put myself in the middle because both of them is my friend! He didnt appreciate what i have done! The time when i pray for him when he has a problem, the time when i help him when he is in need!, the time i was there to listen... i have no plan to apologize to him!

Im toO saD.. Im stupid!! im careless! Damn!!

Tue, 02 May 2006 09:23:38 GMT

(MAY 2, 2006) Tuesday is too bad! Im so stupiD!! I lost my CellpHone!!... When My aunt knew it she got mad in me and also my mom!.. When thEy saw me crying they just comfort me. They said it is ok!!.. But for me it is not Ok.. I always lost something!! I am so careless! I had lost my wallet, money and a lot of things.. Im too sad.. Especially toDay!. We have a financial pRoblem!.. I pity my mother!.. My father texted us!.. He said he will go home this monTh.. There Office did not allowed him to extend!! When my moTher knew that.. i saw the sad on her face!.. I miss my father.. not only me but all of us!!. But we need to sacrifice because we have a problem financially! I just wondering why this things happened .. Maybe Im too bad!! I always praying that things will be ok!! And i know that God is always there for us!! I just pray to the one who stole my cellphone!! He/she is CrazY!!

(May 3, 2006) I woke up early this Wednesday!! I really miss my cellphone!!! When i woke up, this morning I search for my cellphone!!!! But i remembered that is already gone !!! I have a thought that it is still with me! Sh*** what happening to me... Its killing mE! I goT CraZy

(May 7,2006) Sunday! is great!! I watched last night the mtv asia award!! Even though im too sleepy! Rivermaya (band here in the philippines) won for the favorite artist in the philippines! They doing great!! And they perfomed in the stage with their song You'll be safe here! I really love their performanced!! And i saw the crowd attention to them... And i pretty sure they love Rivermaya's performance that night!! I got mad because my chemical romance video "Helena" did not won for the favorite video... Korn grabbed the award!! for their video.. They did not deserving!! Honestly! I dont like the band..and their loud music really irritates my ears!! I will accept if ever greenday win!! they are also deserving! Their video "wake me up when september ends" is great!.. I did not watch the whole show.. so i will watch the replay.. To know if my chemical romance grab an award!! because they have alot of nominations! ok im done!

(MAy 8, 2006) Monday is damn!! I went to school to buy some books but before that i lost my ring.. in the bathroom. I just put it in somewhere.. Suddenly it fell in the hole... I try to get it but i cant... My mom didnt know that thing! only my sister.. and i begged her to tell to my mom what happen. So I dont know what will happen after i go home... I hope i get that!!

(May 9, 2006) Tuesday is slight ok! When i went back home yesterday! My mom not yet know that i lost my ring! My sister is the one who told what happened in my aunt! Obviously my aunt said im stupid again! We try our best to get the ring in the hole! And it is hard! My uncle went back home. i begged him! to try if he can get that stupid ring! we knew that he is expert in that things! Im happy becuase he got that! My uncle is so talented!! Hahaha! Just kidding

(May 10, 2006) WeDnesDay! Is rainy day! I'm so glad! I love rainy seasons! I feel much better. LOL! hehehe It is slight cold. That's why I wore t-shirt today. This past days i always wore sando because it is too hot!

(May 11,2006) Thursday is too hot! The rain is over! Its so hot again! My parents arguing about my course! I dont know what course i will take in collage! I have no plan yet! I have plan but it always changing! I am a person who have no permanent dream in life! I cant find my dream! Hahaha! sounds weird but its true! Most of my classmates have a plan what course they will take in collage! My mother want me to take nurse! and i will proceed that in doctor! My uncle hissed! He said that it is much better if i take seaman! Like my father! He said that seaman is nice job! you can travel in different countries! But i dont like that! I dont want to get away with my soon to be family! like my father now! I want to be close to my future sons and daughters! And i thought my father didnt want me to be a seaman too! I had plan to take my college life! in ust (UNIVERSITY OF STO. THOMAS) but LiKE WHAT i said before i dont no yet what course i will take! Sometimes i want to be an artist, My mom and my father also like that ! I want also to have a band! because im a music lover! But my dreams always changing! Now i have no plan yet! i just thinking about my fourth-year life! thats all!

im alone

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 08:03:19 GMT

APRIL 17 - 22

hey... monday is cool..... Today is the first meeting of the summer training....... hahahaha i got nervous because we should have deliver a speech... about our expectation in the summer training.. thank god i delivered my speech well... Im happy today although my friends is snobbish that day.. but its ok i get use to it..... hehehehehe im always alone... while they are with their new friends now........ ....

hahaha tuesday is sad... im alone again.... i dont know...... my friends have a new circle of friendss.... i dont know even though im with other friends... im sad... I miss our bonding.... ...

Wednesday is quite good...finally i tell crouse about my problem with them.... I tell that im sad because they are have new friends now... First, our conversation.. is not clear...... because we are not understand each other... but after that he said sorry to me...i dont know... im not expecting too much now from them... it is enough that he knows what i am feeling right now... Im just hurt of what he has said.. i think he not understand all.. Its ok.. I love them..they are still my friends... no doubts, no limits and exactly no ends...

My Saturday

saturday is not just an ordinary day.... hehehehe.. My aunt got angry with me... she knows that i am going to the computer shop... she said that im just wasting my money... its true hehehe it is so boring in the house... i want open my xanga and express my feelings.... ahhhmmm.... first i did not expect anymore that lazzaro santos my friend will come back to me....he is happy with his new friends... everything has change now... the only constant in this world is "change" so i cannot blame them... but i think they also have a fault.. and also me... I am dependent to them.. which is wrong.. i should talk to others and making friends with them... that is what im doing right now... i hope that they will not forget me... When i opened their account in friendster.. our picture is still there.. so i have a litte faith that our friendship will come back... lets see on 4th yr....

APRIL 23-29

LeT sEe wHat wiLl happen thiS wEeK

TUESDAY is fun although im too tired because of the c.o.c.c. Im so tired today.. LOL! 3 days left cocc is finally over so just be patient!! OK !!hahahahaha!!

Wednesday is slight bad! I hate the people who loves to insult the person who commit mistakes!! What the heck are they?? It is right to correct the mistakes of others, but it is not good to tell him/her mistakes in front of many people! That is so embarrassing! That is what happened in cocc today!! Some of the cocc laughed of what the officers done in my co-cocc! They have no right to do that! They also commit mistakes! Remember the person who had no failure have less victories

Thursday is little nervous… We should deliver a military speech in front of the officers and our fellow cocc. The nervous part there.. is when you pick a paper.. inside the paper is the topic that you should explain… Thank god!.. im so lucky because I picked an easy topic which is all about”bisexual”.. hahahaha. Each of us gave a one minute to think! I’m very thankful to God because I delivered my speech well hehehehehe.. Before I stand in front to deliver a speech.. I pray first!.. After that is the most exciting part of c.o.c.c finally comes. Where we should eat the food in the table. It is not an ordinary food.. It is different kind of food that combined together.. It looks disgusting and it smells not good but we must eat that. I just ate little because I cannot take it anymore. It is too hot because there has a spicy ingredients mixed in the food.. hahaha that is so memorable experience. There is no meeting of c.o.c.c tomorrow. I spend my time to rest. Saturday is the last meeting of c.o.c.c

SaTurday is great!! eventhough im so tired because of c.o.c.c!! Finally it is vacation time!! Finally c.o.c.c is over!!! I am graduated now from being a... hehehehehe.. finally i cannot see anymore the scary face of the officers hahaha!! LOL! But i wiil miss them!! I will cherish all the punishments that all the officers gave to me... but i think it is not yet over!! It is just starting!!! I getting nervous because i always worry that i am not qualify as an officer.. The test that gave on us is so hard... Im always worry that i cannot pass the test.. The test is 45%.. oH my God if i not passed that im not hoping anymore to qualify as an officer..

Sunday is too hot!!! i feel the suumer now!!! I have a problem but it is not too big !! I just heard a while ago that my mother have a plan to stop the studies of my sister in college... just for 3 months.. Because of our financial problem.. I just praying that it will not be happen...