its been a year.. i'm back.. the emotional jerk man back again.. i'm just getting emotional. coz i really turned into crying lad when i talked to my friend on the phone.. shit it's much better if i do'nt call him. i trully hate myself... too crazy.my shit friend really learn a goddamned thing.. they are all the same.. renz, jolas crouse.. o shit i'm a back fighter.. i love to tell shit things on them at the back.. i cant cease my feeling sorry.. i'm really dorry.. they are all the same... he said he values his friends... his barkada... renz belong there... i know renz also value them.. what an unjust world... they never learn... now i think they will be more successful than me... i dont like... i want them to suffer... so that they will feel what i felt... sorry i'm getting selfish help me God... plss help me...plsss... help... i reallly wish it will not be happen again!!

I dont know what to do first! Yesterday was quite tiring! That's the negative side of being an officer!!! I dont know if they want to revenge! i smell something! ..thats hatred! Maybe because of their pride! they dont know how to respect! in return people hate them! What you have now will not last! i dont know why they forgot to think that this things might happen i saw alot of crazy things yesterday! i dont know why they do that! I cant feel genuine love! its all fake! my last year was crazy! Some lied! i discovered things that makes me feel wild! My past was so ghastly!!

I saw the different changes happening which i really hate! I dont know how to manage my time.. I have no time with some of my friends! I know its really ok with them but for me thats so Unjust! Some of them shot me with a gun! The bullets socked my heart! I dont know if its their pleasure to view a friend who getting hurt! I saw my mother cutting papers! that so strange! My father got mad with my mother! financial problem again!! i dont know my father is so crazy! They dont know how to understand! He got crazy with his vice! he admit he is the reason why my mother crying! i dont know the real story coz im at school that time.. my aunt is the one who told me about that matter! but now they wEre both ok!

WoW!! our examination was too hard! especially the mathematics! i dont know! after the test my head was aching... Something trapped in myhead! and it was so eager to escape!

IM too busy!! because its our examination! three consecutive days of examinations??? that so sh***t!!  I have an entrance Examination on sunday! i need to pass that exam! I want to study in thats school! if ever i fail! its much better if i will stop my studies! Thats the way i should express my frustration...

Ok I’m here again! So excited to write what I want! What I feel! Useless things! I’m not sure if I will pass the examination! A preparation to college life! I found the test not that hard but some speaks it was too easy! Effortless that’s how they react in the examination! I’m hysterical today! Worrying not to pass the test! But I’m will continue believing! Believing for nothing???? Crazy…. believing to find a good result

Sometimes your mind was too haggard… you realized something that’s make you feel embarrass!!!!! My mind wants some rest! My eyes getting blurred because of stress….  Now I have no time to compose a new song! an excellent song! which will make people think! But that’s too impossible… People are tired to realize their mistakes…. They shut their bewildered eyes and they forgot how to open it! Now they are blind! Can’t see the truth… the love and the changes! they don’t know how too feel! They became defective…

GOODBYE CYRUS

My cat died! a devil killed him! Now just wait for his revenge! he will appear in devils dream!

I dont know what to write first as usual.... My life is so dull today! we have no electricity! im sleeping now for two days without light and the presence of cold air!! the typhoon was so angry! i saw the trees dancing! and cant follow their steps!! the philippines suffering from the dark! we have no classes but i cant do such thing that will make me alive! no television no computer no light i thought im in the province! thank god there is water! crazy! i just remember i went back home last wednesday soaking wet! that day was so cool! no classes we just had a meeting with a man! we discussed about sex! the conversation was too open! i want to change the topic! our fieldtrip is near! i dont know who will be my companion that time! i will just remember something! I dont know what i feel right now... im talking with my new friends they are okey! sometimes i want to go away! walking alone wandering that they are there! Im demanding! im expecting too much with my friends! i want to adjust! to change! my bestfriend is myself! you know why??? Hes my ally because we have the same attitude! the same likes! and feelings! compared with them! i dont know if they value me! i want to die! i want to view them crying! tears not last! they will realize they are crying for nothing! for a uselesss friend! im not worthy for their tears...! thats my weakness! to know that i'm just a waste!

I'm living with a happy life now! And i dont let anyone Obliterate It

I dont know whats going on! I got pissed with my friend! Where not that close! i just remember i post her in my xanga! I just said something! i spoke that she changed! she replied defiantly that if i have some proof that she change! i hate the tone of her voice and her face when she said that! Maybe she just mad that time but its not reasonable! thats only my opinion! I thought she will realize if i will say that! but im very disappointed! i snobbed her when i saw her! i didnt do that in purpose! i dont know why i did that! mabye it is only a part of misunderstanding! I try to understand but i cant! i know if i am the one who committed mistake! i dont want to think that things! Im tired to think stuffs about friendship! i got used to it!

I’m an excellent ill fated person today! Happiness suddenly deprived!!! Since I went to school today! I encountered different things that will make me frantic!!! First I got a low grades in some of the quizzes we had! Second my bag zipper was wrecked! So I spent my break time in fixing that stuffs! Third I don’t understand some lessons! I can’t take down some notes! Because my notebook is not yet return and I don’t know if it is already lost!! Fourth I’m tired to listen and to participate in discussion! I’m becoming idle now! And the Last… the worst!! The most awful! The most unfortunate one! When my teacher saw us cheating! Yes cheating!! I didn’t cheat or do some naughty things! Crazy… I don’t know how I will defend myself!! She put me on the spot! My image has been ruined.. I hate that… its quite unfair for my part and for the others who also accused.. I saw some of my classmates cheated! but they are lucky enough!!! I felt embarrass! It’s too unjust to humiliate us in front of everybody! I really hate that kind of circumstances! I hate to be blame! Because I’m not living here in this dreadful earth to humiliate people! Thats too nutty

Tomorrow??? I don’t know what will happen tomorrow! Our report card will be release!! I’m too unfortunate today and I don’t know if it will continue until tomorrow…. I’m worried! I’m anxious about my grades!!! I’m afraid!! You know that??? It’s hard to accept failures!! I will make me feel down!  I will just pray! I do my best but I’m frightened that they didn’t see it! Or appreciate it! My mind now is rolling and I really don’t know how will its stop!

Im very grateful for everything! im glad and contented in my grades! its really unexpected! I think thats the power of prayer and patience! now i learned the virtue of piety! My goal now is to maintain my grades and make it higher! i need to improve!

Im the most outstanding unlucky person in the whole world today! I met alot of failures! I try to think positive but its not easy! I dont want to happen that anymore! now i will assure that i will be cautious enough to be free from evils

i decided what course i will take in colloge! i will not forget music i still value music! music is my life! i cant live without it!

i feel genuine love with my new friends! so im satisfied! now! im too grateful about that!

We have no classes today! i spent my time writing songs! i just rejected some of my songs! i hate that! but i should! the tune was quite bad! but i composed two songs today! which is much better! ! Monday was too dull! so i have no idea what to do! ! crazy things! i felt bad about that!! the heat of the sun, i feel it!! i will take my examination in ust in september! i should past that exam!

THE SONG I COMPOSED

1. Its killing mE 2.You Are The One 3.Punkd me 4.Song for mY friends

 5.Save yoUr eYes from Tears 6.143(i haTe you) 7. hAppinEss 8.My Last Love Song 9.My AchiLLes HeEl

10. a BrokEn PromiSe of a Friend! 11.UnfortunAte Life

Waa! i just bothered my cellphone was on my father! he borrowed it! he didnt know one part of my cellphone lost! i just remember he got mad with me when the time i lost that! now it lost again! i hate that kind of situation! i'm really unfortunate person! i always lost something! i think thats my destiny!

These past days I’m tired because of practice in the cheering competition. I always went home at night. Three consecutive days the class was suspended because of typhoon. I didn’t rest that days, I should attend the practice although there was heavy rain and floods! There was a misunderstanding happened in our practice! Some of the group members is quarrelling. All of us were bothered that time! Suddenly some decided to quit! One of the problem is we are incomplete! I pity my friend that time because he admit that its all his fault but not! the mother of my classmate got angry with him, She kept on saying hurt things! I want to shout at her that time! I want to express my side to defend my friend but I should control it. Mad Mad Mad!

Finally the competition began! I felt nervous that time! Especially when I saw some sections performance! It’s awesome!  Their costume is great! I didn’t expect that we will win! It is enough that we will perform it well! Were the last participant! I didn’t felt nervous or shame that time! I will do my best! Were incomplete! But its ok we didn’t back out! I didn’t felt frustrated when I knew that we didn’t grab any place!. I’m satisfied in our performance because some appreciate it! I congratulate some of my friends because they won! I’m happy that I saw all sections performed! Our adviser gave us money to eat food! To celebrate?? I don’t know! But I’m happy for that! Ok I’m done

Friday is bad! I knew who are qualified as an officer! One of my friend cried because she didn’t saw her name in the list! I didn’t saw the list but some said I’m qualified! But I’m not happy in the result! Some are not deserving! It is really unfair! Some are not deserving in their positions right now! I comforted my friend! I felt pissed of what happening in ACP! There is no justice!, unreasonable, wrong, Its really unfair. I want to punch, I want to crush his face, I want to kill him to stab him! He is crazy!

I for got to post in my xanga! My friend ( the one who said I’m useless) greeted me in my birthday! Were okey now! My other friend also greeted me even though it was late! He forgot it! Hehehe!

My Wednesday is fine! One of my friend got mad withME! I Think Its my fault but not all! She is quite sensitive she always got pissed everytime she saw me with my other friends! Shes too possesive. But i cant do anything! that is her attitude! I want to talk with her and everytime i greet hEr, She snobbed me! I saw something on her eyes! Anger Everything! By the way i will change the topic! i hate one of my teacher! shes insane! im afraid everytime she is teaching! she's not a good teacher! she like to embarrass! but i think that the way she teach! crazy crazy! she took drugs! i think! Kill her kill her!

My Friday is great. We played DOTA(computer game) with my friend. We dismissEd early so i have time to play! Im very busy this week! I always sleeP at 1:00 in the morning! Because of the different requireMents needed in the school! I dont know! i dont love to be tired! I hate school! but i should value it! for the sake of my future and to achieve my desires! i dont want to disappoint my parents Too! Especially my father. He works hard for us! Studies studies! is quite torture for us! What the hell! DEMOLISH IT! kidding

BOREDOM! BOREDOM!  XANGA IS QUITE BORING RIGHT NOW! I FELT PISSED! I CANT FEEL I AM QUALIFIED OFFICER! THE COCC REMOVED! OUR TRAINING IS USELESS! I JUST REMEMBER EVERTHING HAPPENS IN SUMMER TRAINING! I SUFFERED! I FELT MAD I CRIED BUT ITS WORTHLESS! I CANT FEEL IT I CANT APPRECIATE EVERTHING MAYBE IM NUMB NOW!! OUR EXAMINATION FINISHED! IM BOTHERED OF MY SCORE IN TRIGO!

YESTERDAY waS GREAT! ITS REALLY FUN THERE WAS A PROGRAM HELD IN OUR SCHOOL! SOME TEACHERS PERFOM SHOWING THEIR STUPID TALENTS! HAHAHAHA! I KEEP ON LAUGHING THAT NIGHT! BECAUSE MY FRIENDS ALWAYS TEASE THE TEACHERS WHEN THEY PERFORM! ONE TEACHER SUDDENLY HER FALSE TEETH FELL IN THE MIDDLE OF HER PERFORMANCE! I DONT SEE IT BUT SOME SAYS... IT IS REALLY EMBARASSING! SHE WAS MY LAST YEAR ADVISER! CRAZY RIGHT???  FURY! I FELT THAT BEFORE THE SHOW! I FELT PISSED! I DONT WANT TO POST THAT THINGS! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT SOMEONE READING MY XANGA! THERES STRANGERS! WHO KNOWS ABOUT THIS! I DONT WANT TO INFORM THAT STRANGERS OF WHAT IS HAPPENING! THERES NO PRIVACY! OHH! I HAVE A PLAN TO HAVE MY NEW SITE!

Ei friday is great! finally i felt that im an officer! yes finally! yesterday is quite tiring! our task is to welcome all the visitors! foolish thing! but its fun! i dont know what's i felt yesterday! one of my friend was cold with me! hes crazy! i regret now that i met a crazy, bigheaded and numb friends! he loves to forgot! i hate that! but i dont want to waste my time! with that kind of person! by the way we held a program! for the unfortunate children! waaa! poor children! they are too naughty! but it was fun! i realized that! waa nothing! nothing i have no time to realize things! grrrr LOL! ok thats all! i forgot im with my friend now! and he was crazily inlove with someone! hhahahaha! now he was busy writing a testimonial! with his crush!